4 steps to help you keep things together
In tenth grade, I read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. The story’s main character, Okonkwo, was a tribal leader who seemed to have it all. Then life happened, and for him, things did fall apart.
One major theme I saw within the story was how hard Okonkwo tried to hold on — to his power, his image, his things. Trying to hold onto his power diminished it. Trying to hide his emotions put them on display. Trying to keep his things helped him to lose them. The more control he tried to assert, the worse things became.
Right now, so many people in the world feel like Okonkwo. Things are falling apart, the world seems to be going crazy, things are out of our control, and it’s scary. Like, “scary movie” scary.
It would be so easy to tell you to give in to your fear and to let panic overtake your life. I could encourage you to accumulate as much information as possible about coronovirus, the economy, the pending stimulus package and its supporting bills, the job market, personal hygiene, and the other superbugs that are threatening the planet. Or, I could tell you to ignore it all and let life unfold as it will. But neither of those options would work.
Inundating yourself would cause more anxiety and stress (the feelings we’re trying to move away from). Ignoring the world around you would create a false sense of security (which would breed complacency).
There is a better way to deal with current events, though. Checking in with yourself, feeling your feelings, being present, and looking optimistically toward the future are healthy methods of coping with the current state of affairs. Life coaches, therapists and wellness experts have been pushing their social media followers to do just these things.
- Ask yourself how you feel. Be honest and authentic, and label your emotions. Whether you’re happy or tired, it’s important for you to identify what you feel.
- Allow yourself to feel your feelings. If you’re sad and want to cry, cry. If you’re anxious and you need some time alone, give yourself 30 minutes of solitude. If you’re excited, allow yourself to feel that excitement.
- Then, be present. In a recent Instagram video, Iyanla Vanzant walked viewers through the practice of consciousness through breath — deeply and slowly, through the nose, then through the mouth. Focusing only on the moment at hand, listeners were encouraged to identify what they felt in their body, the sounds around them, and their emotions. Also, they were discouraged from thinking about the future, worry, and things that were troubling.
- Look optimistically toward the future. Remind yourself that the current state is only temporary. While we don’t know how long any of this will last, we know that it won’t last forever.
These four, simple steps can help you to come out of this period of transition better than before. They are reminders that while so many things are out of your control, you can always control yourself and your response to what happens around you.
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